Under the desk
by Doc Lee
Summary: A fix-it-fic for 'Squab & the Quail'. Spoilers up to this episode.


****So, Squab & the Quail. *Curses and naughty words* I get partially what Marlowe & Co are doing, but to have this episode originally meant to air right after 'Still' seems very strange to me after seeing the two promo's and the sneak peek of the episode.

The basic plot in this fic has sat in my head since last season, but I've never been able to make it work. Till now that is.

disclaimer - Still don't have anything to do with Castle beyond being a fan.

* * *

'Gorram it!' Castle muttered under his breath as Gina continued to rattle on about something legal-related and the Derrick Storm graphic novels.

Richard Castle hated these long meetings at Black Pawn. Filled with legal speak and always taking hours with his input only ever being seconds at most, generally a yes or a no and a signature or two. Why did he need to be here for this when he had far more urgent and important matters to deal with.

Matters like what was going on in Kate's head this last week. The Vaughn case had shaken the duo and Kate had been scarily quiet since then, her spot beside him at night empty more in the last seven days than the last seven months.

Publicly, Castle had brushed off any concerns from friends and family, but privately Rick was terrified. What terrified him the most was how similar Kate's behaviour had been in the end stages of his relationship with Kyra Blaine.

'Rick?' Gina frowned at the faraway look on her ex-husband's face.

'Eh?' Castle blinked.

'You're more distracted than usual during these meetings,' Gina cautiously asked. While the two adults maintained a friendly relationship, the two attempts at more serious relationships had fractured their friendship.

'I think I did something,' Rick admitted, 'Or missed something and I don't know how to fix it.'

'Talk to her,' Gina suggested, 'It's blinking obvious to everyone just how in love the two of you are. You and I failed twice because we didn't talk to each other about real things.'

A low buzzing started in the pocket of Castle's jacket.

'Castle,' Gina watched Rick's face pale sharply, 'I'm on my way.'

'What's wrong?'

'There's been an incident at the 12th,' Castle stammered, 'Captain Gates says Kate is curled up under her desk and isn't talking to anyone.'

'Go!' Gina pointed at the door as Castle set off at a gallop.

* * *

Victoria Gates stood in the middle of the bullpen and wonder just how a quiet day had ended up like this.

One officer dead, another with a bullet in his right shoulder and her lead detective curled up in a ball under her desk, completely oblivious to the world around her.

Detective Harold Jamison, a detective with twenty years under his belt, lay just outside the lift doors. He had been escorting a witness to a shooting to go over their statement when the young man had inexplicably snapped, grabbing Jamison's service weapon and putting a bullet in the poor man's skull. The man had then turned and unloaded the clip randomly across the bullpen, Detective Esposito catching a bullet through his right shoulder as he had taken the shooter down with a scarily accurate killshot.

It had been Gates herself that had found Detective Beckett under her desk, her knees drawn up, her hands wrapped around them and a vacate expression on her face. Since then the only reaction the team had gotten from Beckett was her flinching from them when they attempted to touch her.

A loud thudding from the stairwell announced the frenzied arrival of Beckett's partner and perpetual pain in Gates' ass, Richard Castle. Barely breaking his stride, Castle skidded to his knees beside the desk.

'Kate?' Gates knew she should walk away at the intense concern in Castle's voice, 'Kate, sweetie?'

'Rick?' Victoria could barely believe the voice that answered Castle. This voice was too small, too vulnerable to be the woman that had confidently walked into the building that morning.

'What happened Kate?' Gates heard a shuffle behind the desk as she guessed Castle moved into a more comfortable position.

'Bastard got a gun,' The expletive was rare from Beckett, 'Shot the place up.'

'Shit,' Castle muttered.

'I was back in the cemetery Rick,' Kate sniffled, 'Back in that freaking penthouse again. Don't remember diving under here, but I can't move. I want to get up, but my body won't let me.'

'It's okay Kate,' Castle softly spoke, 'We can stay here for as long as you need.'

'God Rick,' Kate sighed, 'Why didn't I listen to your mother and book an appointment with Burke? I knew I was screwed up after the Vaughn case, why didn't I listen to the warning signs? God, I'm so stupid.'

'Hey now,' Gates heard what sounded like lips meeting, 'Shush. This isn't your fault. You couldn't have known the bastard was going to start shooting up your workplace.'

'I felt the signs Rick,' A soft thud rang out as, Gates assumed, Kate rested her head against her desk, 'I felt myself getting panicky, I ignored the shake in my hands. I lied to you about just how much sleep I was getting.'

'And then there's us,' Gates had to strain to hear Kate's voice.

'Us?'

'What are we doing Rick?'

'If you had said that in any other tone,' Castle's voice replied carefully, 'I'd have answered with something about us sitting under a desk, but I know that isn't what you meant.'

'We are living Kate,' Gates knew she should walk away, but she had been picking up on certain signals since the horrendous kidnapping of Alexis Castle, and the seasoned investigator found herself unable to leave.

'Where are we going Castle?'

There was a beat of silence before Castle muttered a curse, 'Dammit, you asked me that the night we solved the Vaughn case and I completely screwed my answer up didn't I?'

Kate must have nodded or made a face as Castle sighed, 'I'm sorry Kate, my brain had slipped into masseuse mode.'

'Kate...Ouch!' the desk jolted as Castle shifted and Gates had to cover her mouth to smother her laughter.

'meh,' Gates detected a sliver of the real Beckett in her teasing voice, 'you'll be fine Rick, it's just your head.'

'Oh ha-ha,' The smirk was audible. Gates felt the room shift suddenly and she realised she had just held her breath in anticipation of what was about to be said.'

'I'm scared Kate,' Gates had never heard Castle sound so vulnerable, 'I've already ruined three relationships and I'm utterly terrified I'm going to do the same thing with you. I wouldn't survive knowing I ruined us.'

'You ask me where i see us going?' Castle's voice wavered slightly, 'Kate, I see us sat in the Hamptons. The two of us old and grey as our grandchildren holler and scream around the garden being chased by our children. I see us standing in the middle of Central Park, or The Grand Canyon, or a quiet beach somewhere tropical, me in a suit and you in white. Kevin is standing holding one of his children as Javier bawls on Lanie's shoulder. I see you lounging beside my pool, your belly full with new life. I see us. Together. Always.'

'goddammit!' Gates silently cursed as her eyes welled up at the intense, heartfelt confession from the eternal joker's mouth.

'Rick...' Kate's voice was drowned with tears

'I'm sorry I've been an ass these last couple of weeks,' Rick's voice became muffled as Gates guessed he'd started hugging his partner, 'I let Vaughn get into my head, heck I let me into my head. I'm sorry I didn't pick up on the signals you must have been hollering at me since then.'

'I'm sorry I let him kiss me,' Gates was surprised by the admission, 'I love you Rick, I told him I was with you, but he just kept on digging. I should have stepped back or done something to stop him from kissing me.'

'Ah,' Castle replied gently, 'Don't forget, because that man kissed you, you had to push him away, which meant the sniper missed him and exposed himself and you were able to uncover his identity to solve the case.'

Kate muttered something that Gates couldn't hear.

Yeah,' A shuffle accompanied Castle's voice as the table rocked, 'I'm pissed that he kissed you and I was highly tempted to kick his scrawny ass, but I'm pissed at him Kate, not you. I saw Lanie's face when the two of you were discussing him and I have to admit if he hadn't spent the case flirting with you, I might have actually liked the guy.'

'I'm still sorry Rick.'

'There's nothing to apologise for Kate. To be honest, a little bit of me is glad that he tried to kiss you.'

Gates stared at the desk, her brain trying to work out just what Castle had said.

'No seriously Kate,' Gates guessed that her detective had given Castle an equally confused look, 'I'm not the eternal confident man the press makes me out to be. I have fears. Ever since I walked in on Meredith riding her director, I've always had a little nagging voice in my head.'

'Hold up Kate,' Castle quickly spoke, 'I trust you with every beat of my heart, but in the same way you were concerned about my playboy past, I've got a fear that I'm not enough for the woman that wears my heart. You pushing Vaughn away shut that voice up.'

'I get it Rick,' Kate sighed, 'I do. But I told you before, I'm a one writer girl.'

'And I'm a one detective guy,' Gates rolled her eyes at the overly gooey statements and sent a quick prayer upwards that the duo would never be like this around her again.

A calm, peaceful silence reigned for a minute as Gates assumed the duo under the desk were engaged in one of their silent conversations.

'You ready? Castle warm voice asked.

'Got a ring?' Gates' jaw slammed against the floor as Castle spluttered.

'I...I meant are you ready to move?' Castle's voice was an octave higher than normal.

'oh'

'Kate,' Rick's voice was thick with emotion, 'God, you give me the word and I will give you the biggest and most intimate proposal the world has ever seen.'

'I have a better idea,' Kate replied as the table wobbled from someone shifting.

'Oh Kate,' Castle breathed, 'are you sure?'

'Katherine Hughton Beckett,' Gates held her breath as her mind registered just what she was eavesdropping on, 'I could crouch here and wax lyrical for years about how extraordinary you are and how much you mean to me. But I know you don't like it when I do that. So I'm just going to simply ask this.'

'Will you marry me?' Gates instinctively leant forward to hear Kate's reply.

'Yes.'

'YES!' Gates clamped her hands over her mouth too late to stop the exclamation out. Beckett's desk nearly toppled over as the newly engaged couple scrambled to get out from under it.

'Sir!' both adults wore a shade of deep red as Kate spluttered, 'We didn't know you were here.'

'I didn't meant to eavesdrop on such a private moment Katherine,' Gates looked abashed, 'I don't like leaving a man, or woman, alone in a time of need and I confess that my investigative nature wouldn't let me leave when I realised that Mr Castle had managed to...' Gates fumbled for the right phrase.

'Get my shit together?' Kate smirked.

'That wouldn't be the way I'd put it,' Gates chuckled, 'But yeah. May I be the first to congratulate the two of you?'

'Thank you Sir'

'Thank you Captain Gates.'

'Sir?' Kate nervously started.

'How long have you two been together?' Gates simply asked, guessing just where Beckett's mind had gone.

'Since the night I resigned,' Kate answered, glancing at a surprisingly quiet Castle.

'Then these last few months prove to me that the two of you can keep personal, personal and work, work,' Gates smiled, 'Keep doing that and we shouldn't have any issue.'

Castle let out the breath Gates hadn't noticed he'd been holding.

'Now I need to be Captain Gates for a minute,' Gates shifted into her serious mode, 'Beckett, I can't ignore some of what I heard. I'm putting you on leave for a week. In that time I want you to attend at least one session with Dr Burke, and you will require his approval to return to duty.'

'I agree Sir,' Kate nodded, 'Thank you.'

'You are an extraordinary woman Katherine,' Gates's tone softened, 'please remember that. Now go see Detective Esposito. We had an issue getting him to go to the hospital as he flatly refused to leave you and I'm concerned the fool will AMA himself if he doesn't see you soon.'

'Javi was hurt?' Kate had turned beet root at Gates' initial comment, but she paled as she realised a member of her team had been injured.

'He was struck by the shooter in his right shoulder,' Gates turned to where the forensic team was documenting the scene, 'He walked out the building. Jamison wasn't so lucky.'

'Shit,' Kate winced, 'The shooter?'

'In hell,' Gates ground out angrily, 'Detective Esposito is one hell of a crack shot. Now get out of here and see the man.'

'Yes Sir.'

* * *

'Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!' The first thought in Kate's head was that Javier Esposito was on the good stuff, judging by the slightly creepy grin on the man's face, 'Beckie-Becks!'

'Oh God,' Ryan slapped a hand over his face as Lanie bolted across he small hospital room.

'Katherine Beckett!' Lanie grabbed Kate in a bone rushing hug, 'I wasn't told until I was here and Kevin informed me that Gates was getting your man to you.'

'I'm okay Lanie,' Kate wheezed, 'Or i would be if you let me breathe.'

'Sorry Girl,' Lanie stepped back, 'What happened?'

'I've not been right since the sniper attack in the Vaughn case,' Kate admitted as she and Castle followed Lanie to the bed containing the babbling Javi, 'And the shooting incident in the bullpen was the final straw.'

'I hear you are a great shot, o holy one,' Castle laughed as Esposito attempted a 'feed the birds' gesture.

'Right between the fricking eyes!' Esposito waved his good arm in the air.

'He'll be fine in a few weeks,' Ryan shook his head at his friends antics.

'My man got away with just muscle damage,' Lanie's voice held all the fear she'd had, 'Poor Harold.'

The room fell silent as they thought about the fallen detective.

'Man,' Javier squinted at the IV bag over his bed.

'What now Javier?' Ryan sighed.

'They must have me on the good shit,' Esposito glanced from the bag to Kate and back again, 'I'm hallu... Hallu... Dammit. I'm seeing things!'

'Like what?' Ryan and Lanie shared a worried look.

'Katie is wearing her mother's ring,' Esposito squinted at Kate, who turned a smirk to her now fiancé.

'Baby,' Lanie turned to her boyfriend, 'Kate has worn the ring around her neck for years.'

'But it's not on her neck,' Javi pointed a wobbling finger at Kate's left hand, 'It's on her finger.'

With an snap of near severe whiplash, Lanie's eyes zero'd in on the hand Kate was now holding up.

'NO FREAKING WAY!'

The blinding smile on Kate's face was enough of a confirmation and with a ear splitting squeal, Lanie launched herself at her best friend as Castle ducked out of the way.

'What the hell is Lanie screaming about?' Javi frowned as Ryan gave Rick a congratulatory man hug.

'Dude? seriously?' Ryan laughed at the perplexed look on Esposito's face, 'Just say congratulations Javi.'

'Congratulations Javi?' Esposito parroted back, his confusion deepened by the fact the entire room fell about laughing.


End file.
